Because Discovery Channel's Man Vs Wild wasn't on last night, I was early for my "lessons" today.
Coach wasn’t there yet. Creepy pool boy was as usual sitting there pretending to "clean" the area.
You know how people are "weird everyday" and after some time they "don't seem weird anymore"? Well, pool boy isn't one of "those".
Noticed how I love using quotation "marks"?
Anyway.
I nodded at pool boy, he looked at me blankly.
"Maybe he's blind", I thought to myself.
It was a very hot day (the sun is coming, I swear) so I unbuttoned my shorts, took 'em off, folded them neatly and dived right in.
The water felt so good, I relaxed and organized my thoughts as the water cooled me down instantly.
I thought of Global Warming, of my ex (let's call her Edz, because that IS her name anyway) and why she left me, how I am now dating two girls and how it’s surprisingly fine with them, and how I’m broke and owe my sister a thousand bucks.
All of a sudden
Kaching! like a sign from the heavens (or the underworld), I found a shiny peso coin, amidst the tiles near the 6 ½ ft mark.
I swam towards it like it’s the answer to all the problems of the world.
When I finally reached it, I grasped the coin tightly, beamed, proud of myself and grinned silly-ly at my imaginary competitors.
Whew. Only 999 more to go.
Suddenly, this searing, blinding pain shot up my entire left leg. As I reached for air and painfully tried swimming, pool boy caught my eye.
For some twisted, fucked up reason, he found my writhing in pain, highly arousing.
There he was, just standing there--definitely not blind, staring at me. And he wasn't alone. Another part of him was standing too.
I went from "Shit! Ouch! Ouch!" to "Eeww! Eeww! Gross!" in two seconds.
Pervert Perverson then started taking his shirt off, preparing to jump and rescue me --- or attack me, I don’t really know.
“Don’t! *
cough* No! Stay there. *
sputter* I’m fine.”
I swam as hard as I could. I just found money, I cannot die. AND I cannot have that pig performing CPR on me. I need to live to beat the crap out off that perverted pool person.
I paddled and kicked, swallowing gallons of water along the way, despite the intense pain and reached the ladder in record time. Aww, Coach would've been proud.
As expected, pool boy and his little thing were nowhere in sight.
Remind me not to nod at pool boys again, or assume that people are blind, for that matter.
**
For what it’s worth, at least I’m now a peso richer .
For those of you who live in a cave, the current exchange is
Forty-two of this:
Equals this
And as of April 29th 2008 my assets include:
1. A few clothes and shoes
2. Books, Cds, Dvds
3. Wristwatches
4. 3m Screw drivers
5. Discount and membership cards
6. 2 guitars and a guitar strap with Ely Buendia’s signature
7. a basketball ball with my signature
8. Earrings
9. Band aids
10. Lip gloss
11. Goggles
12. My collection of table napkins
13. A fake five hundred peso bill
14. And a chlorine-flavored peso coin (not that I tasted it, or anything)
Aren’t I a big catch?
P.S.
Warming up never hurt anyone.
P.P.S.
Is it possible that the root word of coincidence is "coin"?
Take care girls and boys.
Damsel in disgust (whowalksinalimpbutisfilthyrich),
Genevieve
